09.15.2010 - 09.18.2010
I’m on my way back to Invercargill which consisted of a 15 hour flight to Sydney, 14 hour layover, 3 hour flight to Christchurch, overnight stay for 8 hours and an hour flight to Invercargill. Long travel really doesn’t bother me that much. But, I’m now mid-flight to Christchurch, my flight was delayed and I’m feeling a bit cranky. So please allow me to vent.
It’s never a good sign when before taking off the captain says, “Well, folks, we have vomit bags in the seat pocket in front of you. Feel free to use those throughout the flight. And please let your flight attendants know if you feel sick.” Really? Should I press the call button so that I can actually vomit ON them? I can barely get a glass of water without a death stare. I cannot even begin to imagine what they would do if I said, “umm. Hi. I feel nauseous.”
And why are the desk agents almost always the most irritating people on earth? I arrived from my SF flight at the bright and early hour of 6:30 a.m. After cruising around the airport for a couple of hours, I decided to try to see if I could get onto the 12:30 flight to Christchurch.
Irritating Air NZ employee: Ma’am, are you checking in?
Me: Oh, well kind of. I’m just trying to get onto an earlier flight. The 12:30 to Christchurch. My flight leaves at 6:30.
Irritating Air NZ employee: Well, 12:30 is the only flight we have today. I’m not sure what you’re talking about. That’s our only flight to Christchurch today.
Me: Oh, perhaps I got that time wrong. Let me check my itinerary.
Irritating Air NZ employee: (rips the paper from my hand) oh, that’s pm. Well. Umm. You’ll have to pay a fare difference – go to the counter at the end.
Inner monologue: ugh
And as my frugality would have it, paying a fare change was not in the cards for me. So I patiently waited for the desk to open for my flight. When I got to the counter, I handed over my passport and visa documentation.
Slow Air NZ employee: Are you a citizen of New Zealand?
Inner monologue: why on earth would I be handing you a US passport and visa documentation if I were a citizen of New Zealand?
Me: No. US.
Slow Air NZ employee: where’s your visa?
Me: (trying to remain calm) ummm. It’s the piece of paper I just handed you with my passport.
Slow Air NZ employee: where’s the expiration date on the visa?
Me: It’s on the visa documenation and the stamp in my passport also shows when it expires.
Slow Air NZ employee: well, the stamps aren’t good enough. You have to have visa documentation.
Inner monologue: is this some kind of “simpleton employee” outreach that Air NZ is piloting?!?! What do you think I just gave you? Visa documentation? Correct!
Me: yep. That makes sense.
While I did think for a while that I could be a cast member on the next season of Lost (don’t worry, I’m not that far behind the times. I do know it’s over,) in the end I made it safe and sound to Christchurch. Plus, lucky for me, the couple next to me that was sucking face the ENTIRE flight helped me keep my mind occupied by continually wondering, “should I ask them if they’re getting enough air now or wait for them to pass out?” In the end, I decided to go with the latter. I need to stay sharp with those cpr skills.
And twelve hours after writing the first part of my blog and my flight to Invercargill has been canceled. Sweet. But alas, I am holed up in the Koru club lounge and I plan to drink, eat and web surf my fair share of the entry cost. Technically, I wouldn’t really be drinking at 9:45 a.m. since I’m still on California time. At least that’s what I’ll tell anyone who gives me a weird look.
After this, I’m looking forward to taking a little break from the friendly skies.